Dear Agony Aunt,

can you give me some advice toward neglection as i am the only child and im 16, i have 2 cousins and my mum babysits them every day of the week untill about 6pm and when i arive home from school, she is always realy grumpy with me. i get blamed a lot for when my cousins do anything wrong and this makes me angry but if i say anything to my mum then she bites my head of about it and says i have got an attitude problem, the anger just keeps building up and i dont know what to do as ive also got my Gcse exams soon and she keeps naging me about revision when i do do a good bit of it.

Please help as its begining to make me wonder why i am still alive!

            I am sorry that you have been missing your Mom's attention so much.  Being an only child, it must be difficult for you and your mother both to have younger cousins in the home.  It looks like understanding for each other is in order.  I'm sure that your mother is not aware of how hurt and neglected that you feel.  She may be grumpy at you because she feels that you are grumpy at her. 

My advice is to sit down and write your mom a letter. The freedom that a letter will give you is amazing.  It assures you that you will be able to say everything that is on your mind, and that you are heard.  In the letter tell her that you understand how stressed out she must feel having the little cousins around, and that you are feeling it, too.  Tell her how much you miss her, and that you would like to have some one on one time with her.  It doesn't have to be anything fancy, either.  Just let her know that you would like some time with her in the evening for about half an hours so that you two can talk and share.  Sometimes parents of teens feel like their children aren't interested in them, anymore. Maybe your mother feels the same way you do. Maybe she is feeling neglected. 

It is not uncommon for households that have more than one child in them for the older child to be the one that is looked to as the "responsible" one.  The little ones may sometimes take advantage of that and blame the older child for everything.  Be aware and don't let these little guys sucker you into anything!  You and your mom can team up and present a united front to these cousins.  They can be loved and cared for in your home, without running the household.

Keep Your Head Up-

Agony Aunt