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I Have No friends PDF Print E-mail
Written by Wendy Jackson   

Dear Agony Aunt

I am only 19.  I have no friends, and nothing to do.  I cry every night because I feel so sad.  Sometimes I wish that I was not here.  I need some help and I'm scared to go to the doctor.

Sad

Dear Sad

I hate to hear a young person sound so sad.  It sounds to me like you may be experiencing Depression.  It is somewhat common in teens. 

In fact, nearly 5% of teens will find themselves with a bout of Clinical Depression. You should understand that depression is not something that you can will yourself out of.  You can't snap your fingers and it simply disappear.  You don't wake up one morning and suddenly feel better.  Depression is easily treated with medication, and there is nothing to fear about seeing a doctor.  In fact, what you should fear is not seeing a doctor.  Depression that is left alone can continue for years, and it can get severe.  Go to a free clinic or even a hospital if you do not have a family doctor.

 Signs of depression are: feelings of hopelessness, argumentative with others, easily irritated and agitated, poor academic or work performances, too much sleep, too little sleep, negative self image, prolonged feeling of sadness, crying, withdrawal from the world, weight loss, weight gain, suicidal thoughts, and thoughts of inflicting pain on ones self.

 If you are having a couple of these symptoms, I would advise you to tell a parent, or adult, that you can talk to.  Seeking treatment through an antidepressant is really not something you should be fearful about.  Within a couple of weeks on these medications the clouds will part and the sun will shine again in your life. 

You will look back on this time and wonder what you were so fearful of the doctor for.  This illness can make obstacles and tasks appear larger than they truly are, so please seek help.

 Best of Luck to You-

Agony Aunt

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Comments

Go to your doctor. He/ she will help you with your depression by referring you to a good counselor who will listen, understand, and keep things confidential- in addition to prescribing medication for a time which will help.

When you feel a bit better, you'll be able to go out with friends and take up hobbies you like such as reading or walking or music; whatever you like which will help take your mind off things.

Also talk to your mom or a nice friend who will understand and keep a journal. It's important to eat and sleep well and get exercise. Music is also therapeutic.

The best thing you can do for yourself today though is go to the doctor for help with depression, so please don't delay. Good luck. Once you get help and talk to a professional, you will feel SO much better. This too shall pass.

Posted by Lisa, on 05/21/2008 at 02:51

Dear Sad,
we're very sad that you're so alone. You're 19 years old and you still have a long life. You should speak to somebody about your problems. Ask someone if he/she wants to do something with you. What do you do in your free time? Do you ride or dance where you can find people who are nice? Talk to them.
You're scared to go to the doctor? You needn't. If you think it will help you, then go and see the doctor.
Goodbye!
The Agony Sisters Vivien & Larissa

Posted by The Agony Sisters: Vivien & Larissa, on 02/29/2008 at 06:20

Dear Sad
It's really amazing to me that such a young man semms to be having those problems. But I don't think that you can't change the situation you're currently in.
I do neither think that there isn’t a person loving or at least liking you. But the problem of not having friends could also be a bit your fault. You have to care of them - what I think you surely do - and be nice to them. If you really want to get into more social contacts, then you surely have to arrange with them and not just wait until they are going to talk to you. You need to get more self-confidence to leave days of depression because it is very hard to live with depressions. I do know it. I had nearly the same problem when being a youngster. But I learnt to 'insocialize' - if you know what I mean. I arranged myself and got in contact with many nice guys. Due to my own experience, I can only tell you to try and find some new friends.
Without them it'd get very difficult for you to happily live.

And if there really is a problem you can't solve on your own, then go ask your parents, or persons you trust in. I am convinced that they would help you.
Lastly, it often occurs that many young men (as you are) see themselves much worse than they appear to others. Meaning that you find yourself very bad or perhaps badly-looking, but other people think that you're looking good.

I wish a good future to you and I hope that you are going to get more friends.

Hold on boy!

Agony Uncle

Posted by Agony Uncle, whose homepage is here on 11/30/2007 at 00:47
 1 
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