Dear Agony Aunt

 Usually I don't ask for any sort of dating advice.  I am usually the advice giver. But, I've hit rock bottom.  I am 15 years old. My family is using my room as a dumping ground for their hobby supplies, such as guitars. I feel used that they would just do this without first asking me.

 I have been getting back with some old friends whom I feel more comfortable around, but I still lack self-confidence. You see, I was dating one of my close friends. Due to my lack of self-confidence I told her not to tell anyone about it. We told one person, then we ended up telling my girlfriends best friend.  Her friend was very upset that she hadn't been told before. It caused a rift for a while between them, but I took the blame.  The best friend has been very outspoken about how controlling I seemed, and my girl and I are no longer together because of it.

 My friends absolutely hate my girlfriend. I think they are jealous. I have tried to tell them what a nice person she is, only to get taunts back at me. I have tried avoiding these people, but they still make me feel bad about myself. I simply cannot get my self-confidence back, and I always fear what other people think of my life. Within two days I have lost my friends, my girl and my family has no respect for me.  Sometimes I starve myself of food and sleep.  I know that is stupid, but it almost calms me down for just a second. I need help. I am willing to try anything.

 Needs Self-Confidence

Dear Needs Self-Confidence

 Reports tell us that most individuals who starve themselves feel the rest of their lives are out of control.  By taking control of this one area in your life, food, you are trying to hold onto some power in your own life. However, you are doing more damage to yourself than your friends or girlfriends ever could.  You are abusing your health.

 My advice would be for you to privately talk with a guidance counselor, or an adult whom you can trust.  Something has happened in your life which has made you vulnerable to the opinion of others.  You are at a difficult age.  There is much going on in your life socially.  The dynamics of your family also changes as you grow older.  You cannot let these feelings simmer inside of you. It can lead to depression which you will be helpless to overcome, and it can manifest in anger. You shouldn't fear talking with an adult about this.  Many teens get the advice and assistance of someone in the counseling profession.

 Boys will taunt each other.  Your lack of self worth may be making you perceive it too seriously. You are taking it very personal. Lack of sleep can also confuse your perception of things.  I can honestly say that telling your girlfriend to keep your relationship a secret sent the wrong message to her friend.  Her friend assumed you were somehow ashamed of your girlfriend, when in fact, you simply didn't know how to handle the ribbing you would get from your friends. So, get some counseling.  They will help you uncover where these feelings of inadequacy have came from. You will once again become the strong, resourceful person you once were.

 Don't Put It Off-

Agony Aunt