I am 18 and pregnant - My Agony Aunt

Comments

you are still young and need your mother advice though she may shout and scream but if you dont tell her your mother to be story will always hurt hurt you more because she is the only person in this world who (even if they dont show it)will love you
from a concren reader
molzZ

Posted by molz, on 06/19/2008 at 08:45

You shouldn't base your relationship on false pretences, as much as it is needed for a child to be bought up with an extremely tight bond between both parents this doesn't mean you have to actually be together in a commited realtionship for your childs sake. At the end of the day we all have our own lives te live and it will be easire to go your seperate ways nowe that it will when your child is 5 or older as they will feel the effect more and you shouldn't be forced to carry on a relationship with someone you are not in love with as you are denying yourself the opportunity of finding that perfect someone, and i'm sure you can both be amazing parents witout actually being together.

Posted by aimee, on 06/18/2008 at 08:40

It isn't fair to the child to bring him/her into a relationship with no love- and at times like these you have to weigh your baby's best interests with yr own.

If yr sure yr boyfriend's not the one for you& you've made a mistake but can't face the possibility of abortions, I would advise you to have the baby and give it up for adoption.

You can of course be honest with yr boyfriend that you don't want a relationship with him but will welcome him as yr baby's dad- and you can bring up yr child as a single mom, and eventually meet someone you do want to be with. That can work too.

But in all honesty, if you do want to put the BABY first, children are better with a family of two united and married parents who love them. It's not easy going it alone; it can be done but it's not the best choice unless there's no alternative.

So, think it through carefully. Only you know in yr heart& mind what you want to do. Good luck.

Posted by Lisa, on 05/07/2008 at 02:50

If you don't love him, you should tell him. You should break up with him, because there is nothing worse then a child brought up in a union with no love. You seem like a determined person that can take care of her child. After all, you don't need to cut him out of your child's life, he can still be the father. Just follow what your brain tells you to do, cause in situations like these, the heart isn't of much help.

Posted by Melinda, on 04/08/2008 at 05:56

You need to tell him it would be unfair on the baby to bring him/her up in a relashionship with no love ,if he loves you he will understand you need to be kind about it ang give him space dont start dating someone else soon after or it will break his heart and that will afect the child

Posted by rachel, on 04/07/2008 at 05:42

You should tell him how you fell about him and try to make him understand that you don’t love him the way you loved him before. He may understand what you are saying. Tell him you want him to still be the baby’s dad and you still can be friends. I am telling you this but I have not experienced this kind of thing yet I am only 14 and I am trying to and help people in a situation witch the relation ship is not working. so try your hardest and try to put it in a nice way and tell him you don’t think the relation ship could work any longer and try to make him understand why the relationship wont work.

Posted by liam, on 02/28/2008 at 05:47

I think your very brave. if you think he would be a good dad why dont
you try it until the baby is born and see how it goes
it could be your hormones. if its that bad just tell him but make
sure hes there for the baby. its takes real gutts to bring up a baby
by your self.I WAS BROUGHT UP WITH OUT A DAD AND I HATED IT NOT HAVING
A DAD AROUND ON CHRISTMAS OR MY BIRTHDAY.
We Are only 14+15 BY TAMARA AND DANNY xxx

Posted by tamara and danny, on 02/28/2008 at 05:42

I just wanted to say that there are so many single mums that manage well on their own, if u don't feel that you can stay with your bf. Don't feel trapped just because you are pregnant as you have to live your life as well. I'm sure that you have a lot of people to support you.

Posted by Emma, on 02/20/2008 at 16:43

Claires response compelled me to respond!... Please ignore what Claire is saying, which is basically get an abortion oterhwise be classed as a selfish immature person. You have made your decision, she made hers. Both of you will have to live with the consequences. You should try to improve your relationship woth your boyfriend. Give it a good chance, maybe your hormones are turning you off him. Maybe after time with his support you will develop a deeper love, more everlasting and more meaningfull than the passion fuelled lust relationship we see in films and tv. Or maybe over time you will realise you cant stand it and the disadvantages for you and the child outway the advtanges and you will become a single parent. Either way all three choices, abortion, parenting or single parenting. None of these courses of action are easy, all require courage and commitment to the idea that this is best thing for you. Make the decision for yourself as at the end of the day you are one that will live with it. But one thing is for sure.. whatever you do .. dont give up your studies! best luck for the future.

Posted by sue, on 01/27/2008 at 08:50

This may not be the answer that you want to hear but you are being totally irresponsible to bring a child in to a relationship which is not right. This is not a doll you are having, it is a real life living person, would you thank your mother for having you if she did not love your dad? I don't think so.
You are still so young and you have so much more living to do before you have children.
I had a termination when I was 22, I lived with my boyfriend at the time but we both knew that our relationship was rocky and we would not stand the test of time, and as much as I wanted that baby, I knew that I wanted my child to have the best possible start to life, and that in the long run the best thing for all of us was to terminate the pregnancy, end the relationship and to find somebody who I could start a happy family with.
I am now 28, recently married and pregnant to a man who I love immensely, and I know that that tough decision I made really was for the best.

Posted by Claire, on 01/21/2008 at 17:02

let him down easy

Posted by ally, on 01/16/2008 at 14:42

im 18 and im trying for a baby its different though im inlove with my boyfriend and been together along time now.at 18 were still young youdont love the bloke your with you need to tell him be honest otherwise you wont get no where if you still miss being independent and ur going to uni then having this baby isnt the right way to go you shouldn feel any less of yourself or weak coz your not youl do thing when they are right go with you gut instinct and remember lifes too short you go out there girl and take your oppotunity you have in life if you do have an abortion and your with him still in two years and want a baby then do it if not with him then you still have that choice with someone you love i couldnt have a baby with someone i dont love but thats me hun just take care and hope for the best for you .

Posted by kim, on 01/03/2008 at 07:08

1
Page 1 of 1 ( 12 Comments )

Add comments: I am 18 and pregnant