Whats wrong with hanging out with both your mates and your girlfriend? - My Agony Aunt

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Whats wrong with hanging out with both your mates and your girlfriend?

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Written by Agony Aunt

My boyfriend doesnt like going out with me and his mates together but i dont know why.
His mates are fine with me and I talk to his mates at school. He doesnt go to my school anymore because he left after GCSEs and i began at the school 2 years later and retaking Year 12. His mates, who are in Year 13, talk to me to see how he is. Theyre always saying how they never see him so im always telling him to invite them out or something but he doesnt. I always take him out with my friends and so i dont see the problem with mixing.
Today, we were meant to be going to a Year 13 party and im retaking the year in Year 12 so technically they are my year. My boyfriend doesnt go to the school and so i told him about it so he could go and see his mates and we could all have fun. He thought he wouldnt be able to get home that night since he lives far away from the party so i said he could stay with me at my house tonight. He was fine with all the arrangements until this afternoon. He decided it was too much hassle and he wasnt going. But then he said he wanted to go with just his mates. We basically had an arguement then and he said he doesnt want me there when 2 mates in particular are there. I know them both and we're mates too. I ended up giving in saying he could go with his mates and i wouldnt go and id let him in the house later but he'd already arranged to sleep at someone elses house. He said he'd see me at 5.00 that moring but now he blew me off to see his mates all night.
He said if i wanted a boyfriend without a life than hes not that guy but i dont want that. I just want him to include me in his life. I dont see why he has to separate us into "mates" and "girlfriend". I feel like he's ashamed of me or something. I just want to have fun.
How can i make him see that he'll have more fun if he mixes his groups? Especially as i already know them! Whats wrong with hanging out with both your mates and your girlfriend?

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Comments

maybe hes jealous. that you get to spend time with his friends without him, and vice versa.
explain to him that you do understand he might want to see his mates on his own, but that it would be great if you could all hang out together as you get on so well.
maybe hes happy hanging out with your mates as maybe theres more girls? but he doesnt feel happy with you hanging out with a bunch of guys, even if hes there?
just make sure that you're not interfering too much, but it doesnt sound like you are.
if he makes such a big fuss over this, hes not worth it in the long run, trust me.
you cant go on if he doesnt change, as this is a big issue and will make you miserable, and feel like he has something to hide.

Posted by Ashleigh, on 04/02/2008 at 12:21

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