I am a worrier - My Agony Aunt

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I am a worrier

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Written by Agony Aunt

I'm 17 and I've never really had a proper boyfriend, because I am really piccy about boys. I have had sexual encounters with boys but these have been limited because i don't feel i want to have sex with a boy unless i'm in love with them.
However, for some reason, reccently i've been beginning to doubt my own sexuality; like maybe i'm a lesbian or maybe i'm bisexual or maybe i'm a man trapped in a woman's body or something crazy like that! I don't know.
I've read loads of things about people who come out/have sex changes etc and reccently i've thought: what if that's me?
I have never been attracted to a girl in person; ever. But I do often have really strong sexual attractions to boys. However, sometimes if i have 'sex dreams' or thoughts or whatever sometimes they involve girls..like with a threesome or something.
I read about HOCD, which is homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder, about people who constantly worry and question their sexuality and it sounds just like me.
I'm not a nut-job or anything but i'm a worrier. A seed of worry will be planted in my mind and i will not be able to stop worrying about it! This is just such a big social stimga..plus the fact that I've never found a boy who i really liked (well, one who i really liked and who liked me back) and so i just cannot stop worrying about it. The thought of me being a lesbian/man or something makes me feel physically sick. Not that im homophobic...it's just been a really long time since i've had anything fulfilling with a boy, i've started to doubt things. Am i doubting them just because..or are my thoughts reasonable?! I don't know what to do! Please help me!

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Comments

Though id post coz i sort of have the same problem

just dont let it get to you, ignore it have a good time with your mates and you WILL. find that special someone :) trust me

Posted by Graham, on 07/25/2008 at 09:39

You're just lonely for a relationship- and you've obviously read or seen something that's mixed you up. At yr age, your hormones are raging& it's normal to worry about your sexuality. There's nothing to worry about. It doesn't mean anything one way or the other that you haven't found someone you like who likes you. You're only 17, so give yourself a break. Some people don't find someone they really like till they're in their late 20's or 30s.

If you stop worrying and start dating casually (without sex) and making friends of both genders just to go out with, eventually you will meet a boy you really like who likes you also - and things will happen naturally.

Just don't rush into anything with anyone to prove something; there's nothing for you to prove. Enjoy time with yr friends& when the time is right, romance will happen on its own.

Posted by Lisa, on 05/14/2008 at 03:19

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